When Megan Thee Stallion rapped, “gobble me, swallow me,” Dragon really said “OK.” Honestly fuck that though because when Shrek woke up from his potion-induced nap he didn’t look like snack, he looked like a whole-ass buffet. That everyone deserves love, and by being our authentic selves and loving ourselves unconditionally, we might just find it too.
Magic mirror shrek costume skin#
The Shrek series taught us that beauty is only skin deep. Body crazy, curvy, wavy, big titties, lil’ waist. I’m no Shakespeare, but “by night one way, by day another” literally translates to lady on the streets, FREAK in the sheets. It’s okay though because his detachment and mummy issues mean he’ll be super loyal.įairy Godmother wasn’t scared of ogres, she embraced her curves, and snatched wigs on the daily.īefore we dive into our top three, some honourable mentions who didn’t make the list: Donkey, Puss In Boots, Gingy, Pinocchio, and the Three Little Pigs. The type of guy to curate his Instagram feed like his life depended on it, but when you go to show him memes he just doesn’t get it. He’s tall, he’s naturally a platinum blonde, and he’s completely delusional which is really hot. His dying words may have been, “be good,” but Mongo… let’s be bad. Not that size matters, but this big-as-shit cookie king has my heart. Makes candles out of earwax? Sustainable. What would be a list of sexy Shrek characters without the big green thot himself? The fact he lived in solitude for almost all of his life? Mysterious. Is it just me or are things starting to feel a little swampy? Hot, but the kind of guy who would be a great time until he rolls off you and starts mansplaining how inflation works in his bitch-ass accent despite you majoring in economics at uni. Tell ya what, if I was walking through the bush and this one tried to pick me up I wouldn’t have caused as much of a fuss as Fiona did. A true testament that you can be both feminine and strong. What’s sexier than confidence, and what’s more confident than a woman who lives her truth unapologetically. Not a thought behind those eyes, is there? We may have never seen his face but look deep into those eye holes and tell me you can’t tell he’s packing absolute heat. Plus, a total widowed (RIP Harold) GILF who could absolutely get it.Īh, my stupid hot king. Truly the glue that keeps Far Far Away Castle together. That’s sexy.įour words: what that mouth do? Would bang on one condition - the costume stays on. She fully defeated the cottagecore daddies (see #18 on the list) by simply spitting some bars.
Beyond being hot while she sleeps (a skill in itself) she’s an independent girl who doesn’t need any developmentally challenged men to look after her. He may have never been king, but Lord Farquaad can rule over my entire ass. Not sure why Shrek was complaining, they can nibble on my ear any day. Three’s COMPANY! This trio truly sit on the fence between sexy and cute, but we’re edging them towards the sexy side because of their immaculate style and British accents. Plus, with no legs makes it super difficult for him to leave you due to residual deep-seeded trauma :).īesides being a total otter with enormous big dick energy, the Big Bad Wolf PAVED THE WAY for gender norms in a time when it wasn’t even a discussion. But, he’s also magic which is a huge drawcard for the featureless babe forever trapped in a glass prison. You can’t deny the fact Magic Mirror is handsome - a bone structure to die for and a vocal register so smooth he’d make reading the phone book sound sexy. Like, pick me up with your big, strong, splintery tree hands and carry me far away to a cute little lakeside house where we can be happy and simply vibe, daddies. It’s no secret the two Evil Trees in Shrek the Third give off huge cottagecore vibes. All authorized performance materials are also supplied by MTI.If you’re blind to his handsomeness, find comfort in the fact he gives off major elite private school vibes and probably comes from money - that’s hot. Shrek the Musical is present through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI). Originally Directed by Jason Moore and Rob Ashford Suddenly, his hermit existence is thrown open, when a group of homeless fairy tale characters - Pinocchio, the Gingerbread Man, the Three Little Pigs, and more - burst upon his swamp, seeking refuge from the persecution of the cruel, vertically-challenged Lord Farquaad. The world is fearful and mocking of him, and he is more than happy to leave the world to itself, in turn. Grumpy, gruff, green ogre Shrek lives alone in his swamp. Shrek the Musical is a one-of-a-kind, hilarious fairy tale in which curses are reversed, monsters get the girls, donkeys and dragons find love, and princesses are beautiful in all shapes and sizes. KW Musical Productions presents: Shrek the Musical February 8 to 17, 2018
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